relaxed hair to going back to the hair that naturally stems from my roots. I have truly come full circle with myself, that I now feel absolutely complete. Though, I've never been the one to conform to society's definition of beauty: fake hair, nails, boobs, lashes, eye color, nose jobs, etc., etc. and as it seems most around me were doing. I simply stood my ground and held fast to who I am and what I strongly believe in - being me to the fullest and naturally too, without any fake additions or facade of myself. I chose to remain me, and that's the woman that you look at today, whether in pictures or in person.
The decision to relax my hair was done outside of my will, when my mom felt it was a good idea to relax my hair as a girl upon moving here to the US. She thought it would be easier to manage for her and to the conditioning of the mind regarding what's acceptable as beauty by society. I totally didn't understand that as a child, as I was used to having and wearing my natural hair. It was all that I knew, loved, and embraced. So, of course, naturally, I was resistant to such change.
Anyway, here I was now, on my own terms and after getting used to the idea and action of relaxing my hair, never really thinking or was conscious of the harmful effects it was having on me, I would perm my hair over and over again as I saw just about everyone doing, while my scalp was being burned and bled clear liquids - so much that it left my scalp in agony when touched. My hair was damaged, broke off in places where it was burned/over processed, and then by some sort of automatic programming, I would go back a month later to pay someone (hairstylist) to repeat the same torturous process that I've experienced and unconsciously accepted. It was in that moment last year that it all suddenly became clear to me of how crazy that was to do. So, I stopped. In an instant, I decided to do away with relaxing my hair.
Mind you, when I initially got a relaxer my hair was coily, and when it was relaxed to be straightened, it went flowing down my back. So, I now had all this extra length that I didn't have before and that was truly exciting to me. So, the idea to continue relaxing was enticed by what seemed like such a convenience and effortless way to care for and manage my hair. How joyous was the feeling of inclusionary illusion that carried me further away from the truthful reality of it all, that it was actually of no good to my hair, my brain, and/or my blood, for as we all should know by now, whatever you place on your skin, hair/scalp gets into your blood stream after a few minutes if not seconds of applying it. Therefore, I was pretty much damaging myself to the tune of convenience and to what was deluded to me as simplicity and beauty.
To the say the least, I am so glad the day I awakened to the truth that relaxers were never a good idea. Thanks but no thanks, Garrett A. Morgan (not Madam C.J. Walter as most believe). Mr. Morgan invented hair relaxers back in 1877 in thinking that he was doing us women of a darker hue a favor. Though, to give respect and show credit where it's due, I do appreciate his other more meaningful inventions, such as the three-light traffic signal. Anyway, my natural hair journey of returning back to my roots began in November of last year (2012). So, this month is actually my one-year anniversary of transitioning. Although, with transitioning from relaxed back to natural, the big mistake I made was not to do the "Big Chop". Hence, why I ended up with so many split ends/breakage from the remaining portions of my relaxed hair that ate up my hair as it was growing out. I kept telling myself that if I took really great care of it that somehow the split ends would magically subside and be no more (like abracadabra, poof be gone, l-o-l) - right, another way of holding on to what I needed to let go of - the mind the mind, will certainly play tricks on you if you let it.
Well, that thinking was an illusion to my hair's demise that left me trimming away at split ends, only to come to the realization of just how bad and far the split ends had traveled up my hair shaft, near the roots. So, Sunday night, November 10, 2013, a year later, I decided to take a rather brave step and chop it all off and start from scratch the right way. The lesson here is to do things right the first time. It'll save you time and give to you the desired result that you seek. So, the pic above is me, right now, as I am: no foundation, just my skin, some eyeliner, eyeshadow, and lipstick to enhance what I already am in the flesh and in spirit too, as I'm now fully living my truth - the truth of who I AM and what I've become - the natural me, and I couldn't be happier that I've found myself again! Thank God I AM healed. I AM whole. I AM complete - the way it should be. Now, I can move forward totally wild and free to be me. :-)
Take care guys and would you be so kind to like, subscribe, and share what you've found here. It could be of some sort of encouragement or inspiration to others. Don't forget to comment too and let me know what you're thinking or would like to add to this post. Your questions are also welcome.
Remember, "Be you as everyone else is already taken."
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave your comments here. Your feedback is more than welcome and will be gladly replied to...